People say it is all part of the rape culture. As if that is an excuse, like when people tell me that it is the way society is. Blah, Blah, Blah. The problem there is the fatalism that we can do nothing about it. That is not true. Society has changed many times over the course of human history – sometimes for the good and sometimes not. But the point is, CHANGE IS POSSIBLE. And I am calling for it.
Rape is never funny. Just because sexual intercourse can be a fun and enjoyable thing does not mean that it being forced on someone is also okay, fun and enjoyable – much as a UK official might have said/thought. A Tumblr*post, that I love, kinda creates the perfect answer to that scenario. *tublr post has questionable language so be aware!
Jokes only promote that it is okay to rape. I was very happy to hear the boys I was at the pub with the other night say that exact thing. The subject of rape came up when talking about pirates. And even the mention of if offended one of my male friends and he said “Don’t even joke. Rape is not funny and it is never okay. Don’t say something that could condone it, even if it isn’t what you mean.” He is absolutely right, and I am proud of him. What people don’t realise is that most people who rape, don’t know/recognise/consider what they are doing or have done as anything wrong. When people joke, those who do rape think – hey, these people are joking about it, they must all do what I do, it’s normal, rape is normal. Well, it’s not and its not okay!
Consentual sex is way more fun anyway – there you can experiment, see what really turns you on and gets you going. You can really get to know someone and get comfortable, which is different than boring. When both people are enjoying themselves the experience can have a deeper and better effect.
How to know if its rape: if the person said no, if the person has the inability to say no- whether unconscious or super drunk or out of their mind otherwise, if you have forced them – whether physically or emotionally. People can be raped with objects as well – if something is inserted in you without your consent in a sexual context – guess what, RAPE.
The sad fact is that people think that only if a girl is dragged into a back alley by some cartoon/movie villain and viciously assaulted is it Rape. But most cases of rape are by people we know and even trust – friends, family, significant others – etc. It is the people that you trust and know what makes you and when you are most vulnerable, then take advantage of you.
Authorities need to take more care in their processing and rapists of all shapes and forms NEED to be brought to JUSTICE! I don’t care if they were star quarterbacks, the greatest benefit giving and charity loving CEO, hell, the person could find a cure for cancer – they did something wrong and they need to be accountable for it, as well as show others that they will also be accountable!
Victim blaming – no one asks to have something forced upon them, and it is not their fault when it is. That is like if you go out and get mugged and stabbed. When you go home looking for help and support, people say well you were asking for it. You shouldn’t have been there at that time and it is your fault that you were stabbed and mugged. Does that sound right? NO. Does anyone say that? That person sure didn’t go out expecting to be stabbed or mugged and certainly not raped. Clothes are cloth and style, drinking can get out of hand occasionally, but neither are an invitation!
People say: this is the society that we live in…. Yeah? Well, guess what – society changes and evolves – medieval society, roman society, Vikings, Chinese dynasty society – are they still around or the same? Nope.
So time for a change. Parents need to educate their children young! Boys need to know that Girls are not toys or their personal playthings that they can use and abuse for their own sexual exploits, girls are human, they hurt, they bleed, and they love. Girls need to be taught that their own sexuality is just that… there own. No one is allowed to just take from them and if (god forbid) it does happen, it is not their fault and they should tell someone and seek further help.
But Rape is not just guy on girl – People need to know that what they feel inside, the happiness, the pain, the hunger, the envy – etc etc – other people feel that way. And no one ever is asking for trauma or hurt like that.
Everyone has the right to say no – and everyone should take that no seriously. Otherwise it is an act against basic human rights and is against the law!
If you have been a victim, here are some links that may help you: